Thoughts on Motherhood

I've just had a crying spell. Good thing it's midnight and no one could hear me. My sister and I were just talking about our nephews and niece and how their mother -- our sister -- treats her kids. Actually, unless you know she's their mother, it wouldn't really show based on how she deals with them and treats them.

My sister related how she witnessed oldest boy and mother going through the motions of homework, when the parent has absolutely no patience with the kid and how it of course impacted on the boy. It's a never-ending cycle, as far as I'm concerned. Mother does not really teach or help out, she orders him to do the work, without taking time to check if he understands the lessons or if he needs to be more familiar with the concepts. End result? She gets exasperated, irritated and ends up beating up the boy when he becomes difficult.

For one, I would have wanted for the boy to take a nap first before tackling homework. That way, he would have shaken off the school mode, relaxed and rested before facing school work again. But mother has no patience to lie with him until he sleeps, neither will she make him milk immediately upon arriving so he can nap.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. What triggered the crying spell was realizing she has never shown much affection to any of her kids, but is content on treating them like soldiers -- sans emotions. Looking back, I know I get angry and exasperated with the boys, too, and sometimes, I have to resort to spanking them, but in spite this they remain close to me. Unlike their mother, whom they barely hug or kiss. I guess it's because I make it a point to explain to them why I was angry and why they were punished. After, I never forget to hug them and show affection just so they know they are loved.

This entry will sound disjointed because I do feel terrible about the situation. I realize the reason why I don't have kids of my own is because my purpose is to care for these kids and show them the love, respect, and care that they need and deserve. And I do believe that not all women are made to be mothers...